Monday, March 5, 2007

My First Mission

Some readers keep sending comments, saying “you are not in TieRun.” And one asked me if I talked to the White house. I do that every morning.
So to clear things up I got George’s permission this morning to reveal my first mission in TieRun (people here call it Tehran, funny ‘in it?). Since over thirty years has passed, it is OK.
George called me this morning (as usual) at 0430 am TieRun time to tell me good night.
“Goerge!”
“Yah?”
“Don’t you remember, I told you? THERE IS A TIME DIFFERENCE. Just look at the clocks in front of you in the Call Agents Room (CAR)”
“OK.”
“See the clock for TieRun?”
“I told you a hundred times, there is no f… clock here for TieRun. Besides when Donald is here and gets exited about peace in the Middle East, he changes all the clocks to Washington Time.”
“OK. Let me put it this way. Do you know Galileo?”
“You don’t expect me to memorize all those 52 foreign names, do you? Let me see my pack of cards.”

Well. My first mission started when I was just born and airborne direct to TieRun, part of CIA “CBP” operation (Changing Babies Project). I was then replaced by an EyeRunian baby and started my first mission. I sent my first reports from TieRun about all those EyeRunian babies around me making yellow cakes all day.
There are complications in fresh operations.
They changed me with a baby girl instead of a boy.
She is now living in Texas and thinks she is an American citizen. One night when she was taking her children to bed, she was overheard by our agents -under the “war with Terror act”-
"why do you think mommy looks strange?"
“You look like them Terrorists”.
“Oh baby! You read too much “Bush & Rice Adventures”. Now kiss mommy goodnight.”
What will become of her? Good question. After my mission is over, her citizenship is terminated and she is flown back to TieRun. And I will come back to Texas replacing her having to live with her husband and her two children. And I AM GOING TO FIND THAT BAS…D WHO MADE THAT STUPID MISTAKE 4 DECADES AGO.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

With you in Tehran we have nothing to worry about.
Good Luck!