Inside Natanz Complex

I am now inside Natanz complex. I found their computer room. And I am in there downloading all the information. Let me close the door so I can type louder. While in the corridor I saw a room signed “Nuclear Bomb Division” but the security was so tight and complicated that I couldn’t get in. The security consisted of two armed men standing either sides of the door. Thanks God Eye-ranian guards are like those German guards in “Gorillas”.

It was so that the door had been left ajar and through it I saw a missile laid down on its side with these words written on it.

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Washington, D.C. 20500

U.S.A.

phone: 205-456-1414

fax: 205-456-2461

Their missile navigation system must be very accurate.

There is a counter outside the building showing the number of Centro fusions built and it is clicking all the time.

If George let me sell this information I will be a rich man overnight. Any bidding by the media is welcomed! Or else I have to wait till I am retired and publish my diary in full. George though has promised the Americans will see my missions on the big screen in thirty years from now.

I am done and have to get out of here or I will loose the last bus back to Tie-ran. I wish I could use James Bond style cars but there are no repair shops here for those kind of cars and the spare parts are hard to find.

Keep on the war against terror. You don’t have to go far It is everywhere. All you have to do is open your window and it is there. You can recognize it right away. Terrorists range from light brown to black, any shade of darker colors, your tanned neighbor included. Bye.

P.S. I received numerous emails asking my opinion on the British Royal family. I am an insider from Tehran and not from London. On the other hand it has always been hard for us Americans to understand British way of life. And what is more there are millions break ups between couples married or not all over the world. It only shows that British love getting their nose into other people"s private life especially if they were Royal.

I had been Arested

Sorry for my absence.
For one thing, the British navy crew arrested by Eye-ranians were not 15 but 16 and I happen to be the 16th. And how I wasn’t counted is an intelligence sophisticated technique I couldn’t just give it away. So I had to share a seat with one of them on the plane back to Britain.
We were just having a good time sailing when they arrested us. We were certainly not on Eye-ranian waters. I kept checking our position with the map I had. On my map there was a line showing the border and I never saw the line while sailing. I even used an underwater viewer to see if the line was down there. If we had crossed the line we would have seen it. And being arrested on Eye-raqi waters shows that it was them Eye-ranians who were on Eye-raqi waters. So I kept telling our British friends to arrest them. And if they had listened to me the story was now the other way round with more than thirty Eye-ranians captive.
But it was all good luck for us because of the Eye-ranian New Year holidays. We were given fish and rice and some other Eye-ranian food. I had no problem with the food and nor did my British friends since in Britain you can hardly find an English restaurant these days.
Apart from appearing in a few video clips we did nothing but sit and eat pistachios and dried seeds while watching Eye-ranian TV showing American action films. Imagine Kevin Costner talking in Farsi. I had to keep quiet all the time not to give away my American accent which is so similar to that of Bush’s. And strained my self not to laugh at the jokes made by our Eye-ranian captors.
Of course I am trying to get over the shock of Eye-ranians psychological tortures. Seeing all those men with guns in their hands was so shocking especially for my marine friends who were not used to that sort of things In Iraq they are writing their diaries and playing computer games.
In London we were arrested again for sometime!
While in London I had a complete English breakfast, visit Tower of London, Hampton Court Palace, Holborn and a few other places. I am going to catch a train from Victoria to Brighton along the coast to Eastborn and contact our man there to arrange my return to Tehran. Not to mention good old Fish n’ Chips in paper with lots of salt and vinegar and pickled eggs AND Pouring a pint dahn me Gregory. I aint much of a fanny magnet or tyre kicker so that’s that.
See you in Tehran. Bye for now.

My First Mission

Some readers keep sending comments, saying “you are not in TieRun.” And one asked me if I talked to the White house. I do that every morning.
So to clear things up I got George’s permission this morning to reveal my first mission in TieRun (people here call it Tehran, funny ‘in it?). Since over thirty years has passed, it is OK.
George called me this morning (as usual) at 0430 am TieRun time to tell me good night.
“Goerge!”
“Yah?”
“Don’t you remember, I told you? THERE IS A TIME DIFFERENCE. Just look at the clocks in front of you in the Call Agents Room (CAR)”
“OK.”
“See the clock for TieRun?”
“I told you a hundred times, there is no f… clock here for TieRun. Besides when Donald is here and gets exited about peace in the Middle East, he changes all the clocks to Washington Time.”
“OK. Let me put it this way. Do you know Galileo?”
“You don’t expect me to memorize all those 52 foreign names, do you? Let me see my pack of cards.”

Well. My first mission started when I was just born and airborne direct to TieRun, part of CIA “CBP” operation (Changing Babies Project). I was then replaced by an EyeRunian baby and started my first mission. I sent my first reports from TieRun about all those EyeRunian babies around me making yellow cakes all day.
There are complications in fresh operations.
They changed me with a baby girl instead of a boy.
She is now living in Texas and thinks she is an American citizen. One night when she was taking her children to bed, she was overheard by our agents -under the “war with Terror act”-
"why do you think mommy looks strange?"
“You look like them Terrorists”.
“Oh baby! You read too much “Bush & Rice Adventures”. Now kiss mommy goodnight.”
What will become of her? Good question. After my mission is over, her citizenship is terminated and she is flown back to TieRun. And I will come back to Texas replacing her having to live with her husband and her two children. And I AM GOING TO FIND THAT BAS…D WHO MADE THAT STUPID MISTAKE 4 DECADES AGO.

You Are Safe

Hi. How is your fight against Terror going on? Don’t forget, if EyeRun goes nuclear even your telephone conversations made to your granny asking how to make traditional apple pie will be monitored by Ahmadinejad and will be used against you saying you were learning how to make yellow cake.
Some think I am not in Tehran and that I am making all this up. I am here working hard obtaining and decoding secret EyeRunians’ intelligence communications. I go through all sort of torture by these terrorists just to make sure you are safe and sound. Yes torture! I am being made eat Rice two times a day. And look what that has done to my athletic fit body. And they tied my hands and put a double burger on my belly. Don’t look at this picture if you have heart complications.
For those who think EyeRun is not targeting American interest. Now just look at this. At first glance you see some people doing exercises in a park.

Now let’s look at this from above.
Yes you got it Morse code. Some standing (dot) and some bent (line).
• —
—
—
•—
—•—•
—•—
“ATTACK !”

I followed the direction they were facing on the map. Yes Baghdad!! This is picked up by Al-Qaeda’s spy satellites.
And.. that is the next American interest they are going to attack (I showed that with an arrow). Now don’t ask me what the American interest is doing in Baghdad. We are all ONE big Global Village. Being in Baghdad is as if we are in Las Vegas, right?

Our guys at CIA are busy to find the exact location in Baghdad and I go around Tehran parks to find Time and Date. This information is too classified so you'll see it in thirty years time from now.

The Missile is almost ready

00 Zero the insider reporting live from Tehran.
After all those hair standing reports I had sent from this city of terror, traffic and pollution. Now what? Talks!
I got a cab to work this morning. Here they call it taxi and the drivers speak a funny language. I had to go north west of Tehran to visit newly built Telecommunication tower. Why? I have found through my agents that what looks like an ordinary 400 meters tower is actually a missile aimed at Washington D.C. see the picture here
http://www.yadman.ir/

the missile looks it was made from concrete but it is made of a very high-tech strategic alloy called Con Crete. Imported from North Korea by Al-Qaede into Iran.just look at the warhead. It is loaded with nuclear bomb substance called Con Cre Te. And all the men there are wanted nuclear scientists who ran away from Russia. Imported by contras. Not only that. Under the tower down in the ground they are making suicidal bombs to be exported to Iraq’s terrorists who are against Iranians. Now why these guys are exporting all these bombs to Iraq to make that country unsafe? God knows. Because an unstable Iraq is the biggest neighborous treat to this country and helps the US army stay where it is. Perhaps it is a sophisticated strategy by Ahmadinajad. That is for other insiders over ther to find out. Now I am almost there. “Stop here”. Sorry I have to pay cash to the driver and move on to investigate. Here they don’t accept American Express. I don’t know why!?

It is sunny here. I very much miss walking in New York streets and the Big Double Decker Mac! Hamburgers here taste funny. We had some Americans last week visiting Iran. They said they had a good time here but, I know how full of hate these people are. The visitors should have read my reports before even thinking about visiting Iran. I disguised myself as a waiter at their hotel to make sure they were not given terrorist poison under cover of steak and kebab. People kept smiling at them with grenades and weapon of mass destruction in their pockets. I made sure the US nuclear attack on Tehran was postponed until they were safely back home. But who could tell. Sometimes in a war we have to make sacrifices, don’t we? I still remember 11/9 when as the towers were coming down an Iranian terrorist ran out of the building holding an Iranian flag and the picture of Ahmadinejad in his hand and just vanished in the crowd under the nose of our agents. He was even given a first aid kit by the emergency guys thinking he was a victim. I have the Video film but, because it is classified information you have to wait for another thirty years to see it.
00Zero the insider