Sunday, April 15, 2007

Inside Natanz Complex

I am now inside Natanz complex. I found their computer room. And I am in there downloading all the information. Let me close the door so I can type louder. While in the corridor I saw a room signed “Nuclear Bomb Division” but the security was so tight and complicated that I couldn’t get in. The security consisted of two armed men standing either sides of the door. Thanks God Eye-ranian guards are like those German guards in “Gorillas”.
It was so that the door had been left ajar and through it I saw a missile laid down on its side with these words written on it.

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, D.C. 20500
phone: 205-456-1414
fax: 205-456-2461

Their missile navigation system must be very accurate.
There is a counter outside the building showing the number of Centro fusions built and it is clicking all the time.
If George let me sell this information I will be a rich man overnight. Any bidding by the media is welcomed! Or else I have to wait till I am retired and publish my diary in full. George though has promised the Americans will see my missions on the big screen in thirty years from now.
I am done and have to get out of here or I will loose the last bus back to Tie-ran. I wish I could use James Bond style cars but there are no repair shops here for those kind of cars and the spare parts are hard to find.
Keep on the war against terror. You don’t have to go far It is everywhere. All you have to do is open your window and it is there. You can recognize it right away. Terrorists range from light brown to black, any shade of darker colors, your tanned neighbor included. Bye.

P.S. I received numerous emails asking my opinion on the British Royal family. I am an insider from Tehran and not from London. On the other hand it has always been hard for us Americans to understand British way of life. And what is more there are millions break ups between couples married or not all over the world. It only shows that British love getting their nose into other people"s private life especially if they were Royal.


Tamara said...

Too funny, man.

Winston Ninja Mutant Psychic Smith said...

The Insider,
I am a psychic astrologer (most Iranian bloggers pouring bile on their homeland seem to be one, as well as working as consultants, strange phenomena), my third, and fifth eyes operate in visible light spectrum, although my xray vision is due to my fourth, sixth, and seventh eyes, coincidently my seventh and eight eyes are tuned into hexavision. I have been taken on as an employee of the 'company' recently (there is a need for solid experts on Iran), and have been keeping my eyes on you, during my astrally projected guarding of you.

In fact, it was I whom delayed the bus for you to catch up with, seeing as you were taking your time to move your lard ass, don't let this happen again. Also, it was not you whom thought of closing the door to type louder, my hexavision thought transference put that thought into your mind.

However, I see you have not been riding on the metro to find the missile silos in the main square, so best to get the ticket and hop on reporting back pronto.

By the way, I can't be hassled to project and read the clicker numbers for the centro fusion numbers, and any way I suffer from discalcula-somnambulist syndrome, ie cannot read more that ten, so be kind enough and write the numbers so I cut and paste it in my reports.

PS see on fox news along with the rest of the experts on Iran, like our good-selves.

The Insider said...

Winston Ninja Mutant Psychic Smith
That was a good one, I must admit. Thanks for the bus thing and I will surely check metro in my next mission. In reading the counter you can use your friend’s fingers and toes or check it out on the calculus. I wonder if your hands are as many as your eyes. And I prefer wolf news since it is more bite-y.

Georg said...

My first comment must have been lost somewhere in the internet piping. Therefore, the gist of it:

Great stuff, Insider. Please go on like this. Would have liked to know you earlier.


Georg said...

Hallo Insider you lazy bastard,

For thye time being you seem to live on taxpayers' expenses. Where are your deeds? Reading useless books
as couch potato?

Get cracking, man, do something and write about it!!!!


Anonymous said...

Tata toto lala coco
Refer to decoding book.

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